Half Hearted

My brain becomes befuddled,

Each night before I lay my head—

It seems I do not think straight,

But lay awake instead.

It is purity that steals my thoughts,

And creates the moral dissonance

Which creeps upon me. No

Matter how many hours I spend

Parsing the pages of thesauruses,

I am left even farther from

The sentiment I would truly

Like to pass—not the half

Hearted emotion which always

Seems to escape from my lips…

I quiver and shake, my eyes water

In a cycle of chronic delusion

And fleeting seconds of reality

Which I do not wish to last.

It is a peculiar sensation of pain

That propagates the softest joy—

I do not believe I would

Ever be able to trade. My physiology

Tells the truth even when I lie,

My vitals—the blood within me—

Pulsates in rhythm that I cannot hide

From. I can suppress my desire,

And run from it readily, but it always

Returns to haunt me… Haunt me…

This is no ghost upon me, but a visage

That I cannot help but envision,

Happiness that I wish for, without

Guided reason.

        DannYetman

www.yetmanpoetry.blogspot.com 

Sentiment

I am going to sit down and try

To not worry so much about

Rhythm or alliteration—I want

To express sentiment from the bottom

Of my heart. I want to give a

Passage to you to take, so that

When you have a day where your

Heart feels amiss, you will still

Find time to smile—I am

Going to abandon metre and poetic structure—

Throw grammar out the window—

And tell you that I have concluded,

That there simply is nobody with

A sweeter heart, a more graceful smile.

I have never met somebody who

Has captivated me so completely,

That I toss and turn each night

Trying to get them out of my head…

And I’m afraid to admit, on one occasion,

Sleep never did come, and I was met

With the birds and sun by morning.

I wish I had more to give, a more

Imaginative mind to express these words,

But all I can say is this… I will

Always be rooting for your happiness

No matter where in the world I am.

Of anybody, you deserve to smile,

You deserve to feel the joy this world

Has to offer. I cannot believe my

Endless luck, to have you in my life.

     DannYetman

www.DanielYetman.com 

Lost Thoughts

I shouldn’t, but I do, ponder—

And awaken in the darkness,

To the stillness of many nights—

As if the ground is spinning

Beneath my mindful being.

My eyes are pried by the hand

That guides me—the fantastic

Force that I am not accustomed

To facing… I am admitting,

And speaking of slurring

Sentiment and meaning.

I shouldn’t, but I do, wonder—

In the same darkness, the stillness—

Which are akin to one another—

Where you may reside as I,

Stare off across, homes and lawns,

Which, to me, have become castles

And courtyards, of far greater,

Imagination than I could muster.

I ponder and wonder, together,

In the darkness… And I curse myself,

For awakening, but I find comfort,

In knowing that you are likely

Safe at home, deep in slumber.

      DannYetman

www.DanielYetman.com

The Lighthouse

While the waves wash away each sullen thought,

The happiness remains by happenstance.

Gulls call to me, reminiscing of the tide that came,

And far too soon, came to pass.

By my feet, the shells I’ve always sought lay

In ruins, lamented by my largely oversorrowed heart—

And as I gawk at the cormorants afloat, they giggle,

Wishing to glut of the fish they’ve brought.

But upon my trek—the tragic tale of self-tribulation—

I failed to find the hindered soul that I’ve searched

So long to call my own.

For what I desire truly, is to feel the barnacles beneath

My feet, callouses abash to the scornful scraping

I sense would contrast completely with the flesh,

That has remained unscarred for far too long.

The rumbling, sinusoidal rustling of the ravaged ocean

Screams to me and I’m left with the lasting impression

That my heart will always have a knack for knowing

Of the treasures deep beneath the sand.

I dream of taking my personified longing by the hand—

Helping to epitomize the conquest for lust that exists,

Perhaps only in my eyes.

But by the sea of soulless wanders, I walk among

The men who babble beneath the waves.

With these ghosts that gather, I have gained respect

For each and every heart that beats.

     DannYetman

www.yetmanpoetry.blogspot.com

The Night the Rain Never Stopped

Amidst the arbitrary storm that swayed me so deeply

I could not focus my fondness properly, I sat against the gale

And pondered upon the pedantry that has passed and plagued

My heart thoroughly since the day I first heard her speak.

I felt a tear against my cheek—not of joy, not of sorrow

But of the passion I felt, the desire within me that awoke…

That night between the puddles and raindrops—between

The serenity of witnessing her smile and turbulence that

Arose from being soaked—I thought to myself, of the script

That has been wrote—of the stage we walk and words

Shuttered—of the birds that saunter, far from us but near enough

To hear their call—a cheerful applause of loving laudation.

The ache could not have been deeper, the chill within

Set so completely, it became a wedded part of me—

The ache could not have been deeper, the warmth within

My heart which was her creation—a masterpiece of communication. 

Pretending

It lingers, the sound of footsteps behind;

You check over your shoulder when you’re all alone—

It may be hope or the result of trembling nights,

Fear you never knew you were capable of having.

Long walks, wandering eyes—

Trying to get the words just right.

Forced smiles, hollow cheeks—

Talking to yourself but managing to stay afloat.

Words spoke but never meant;

Words sincere but never heard,

Torn to pieces and built back again.

Eyes empty, ready to fall apart;

Voice breaking, silent tears—

The only hint of what's inside.

DannYetman

www.yetmanpoetry.blogspot.com

The Blind Man

None of this has been said before,

I have never whispered words of caring—

Provided insight of how important you are.

I have never told you how unique you are,

How the good you do has touched my heart.

This is me, trying not to be selfish

Shyly stumbling on the words to tell you

That I’m glad you are a part of my life.

And sometime between now and when we first met

It occurred to me I might not survive

Without you.

The smiles we have shared make life worth living,

Each laugh feeling right, having purpose.

Even a blind man could see

What you mean to me—

For you gave me the gift of happiness,

And for that, I thank you.

DannYetman

www.yetmanpoetry.blogspot.com

Your Happiness

There are certain dreams that I dare not dream—

Desires bound so deep they will never be heard.

Alas, they are lost thoughts destined to return,

The haunting memories that never were.

We peer through time like picture windows,

As we both watch ourselves grow so old.

I think happiness evades us both, or so I hope—

That each of your smiles are touched

With the same wistfulness mine are.

Though that may make me nothing short of evil,

Your happiness would pain my dearly,

While I remain tearful and void of joy.

You are the dream I dare not dream,

That I repress beyond belief.

    DannYetmanwww.yetmanpoetry.blogspot.com

Tears in the Night

Beautiful girl with tears in the night,

Reaching out with a hopeful hand.

Happiness portrayed with smiles, forced—

And passion hidden upon her lips.

Filled with desire but not able to live—

Caught will the illness true love brings,

An empty heart and her love spilled.

She speaks with an empty voice,

For her body is bound to break.

Sadness taints a timeless beauty—

A beauty the world will never know.

Fragility her curse, her laugh her blessing,

Simplicity is her only wish—

To live her life the best she can.

In the darkness, all alone,

Her hands quiver, cursed by fear—

Chest rises and falls with heavy breathing

Her last thoughts to be lost forever,

Her heart left for her alone,

As she sits fearful through the night.

     DannYetman

www.yetmanpoetry.blogspot.com

What is Safe?

What is safe?

Am I safe when my body fails me and I’m left broken?

Am I safe when I’m searching for a savior?

Am I safe when I grab your hand?

Am I safe when you take mine too?

Am I safe when I feel as though I’m living in a dream?

Am I safe when I take a chance?

Am I safe when you feel so close?

Am I safe when time has stopped and I’m looking into your eyes?

Am I safe when my heart sinks and you are leaving me?

Am I safe when I have your blessing, well wishes?

Am I safe when I am a thousand miles from home trying to run away?

Am I safe when I know by morning you will be gone?

Am I safe when I’m out of chances?

Am I safe when I give my all but still end with broken dreams?

Am I safe when I harbor a memory that will tear me apart?

Am I safe when I come home and have nothing left?

Am I safe when I’m in tears trying to replay each moment in my head?

Am I safe when I lose my voice and my hands start to shake?

Will I be safe when I finally find relief?

     DannYetman

www.yetmanpoetry.blogspot.com 

Hidden Desires

I can pretend I don’t want it—

To desire what I have been missing.

I can lie and say I don’t want to feel

Something other than the same routine.

I can tell you that I understand

That you will never feel the same,

But when you see me—finally look at me,

Into my eyes and past the man who stands,

You will know what I am holding back—

You will see everything—the longing

The jealousy and the burning angst.

And when I see you glancing back at me

I will forget where I stand—forget the dream.

I can live in denial for as long as it takes,

And push you to the back of my mind

But I won’t ever be able to hide it,

I won’t ever be able to speak

Without the gentle quiver on my lips

That gives away my emotions.

Looking at you leaves a burning image,

One that stays with me when you’re gone.

I can pretend to be satisfied forever—

To be content living alone,

But my hidden desires will resurface—

I can’t hide forever;

Someday I’m going to look you in the eyes.

     DannYetmanwww.yetmanpoetry.blogspot.com

The Shadow

I want to speak the words I live without,

To surrender to her and everything she is.

Because she’s the one I dream about,

The angel that keeps me awake by night.

I don’t want to spend another day

Trying to guess what she truly thinks.

Let destiny lead her and I astray

So I can keep feeling forever.

I want to hold her next to me,

To tell her how special she has become.

But sadly my dream will never be—

A distant shadow I remain.

      DannYetman

www.yetmanpoetry.blogspot.com

My Valentine

The years pass us by, never really changing—

The seasons fade, never really forgetting;

Hand in hand as the leaves fall gently down.

Winter tears drown us like a river sliding

Across the landscape built from our hearts.

A decade passes, I’m still alone—

Wondering why I went so wrong,

Holding on to what I carved in stone.

I can’t believe we are both getting older,

A single day lingers in my mind,

I awake each day just to find it gone.

Your smile, greater than diamonds—

I hold it close, so it will last forever,

I want you to last forever.

A thousand tears pass us by, separate lives—

I’ll never feel the hand of my dreams,

It fades as the seasons pass us by.

     DannYetman

www.yetmanpoetry.blogspot.com

Frozen

She sits mere feet away, so close I shutter,

But I can’t say hello, can’t look at her either.

I pretend not see her and hold my breath

Until I turn the corner and let it go.

I try to find the reason for my silence—

Between her beauty and my shyness

I feel as though I’m sinking slowly—

There’s nobody here to save me.

Her smile is a figment of my dreams,

And I wonder if she knows of it.

       DannYetman

www.yetmanpoetry.blogspot.com

What Silence Brings

My mind is weary, words becoming rare—

I speak seldom, wisdom fading far.

It feels as though someday you will hear

Me speak the words you don’t accept,

And on that day your heart is going to sink

Just as much as my heart now.

For I know what is not meant to be,

I know what fair wishes are—I see dreams—

I see you holding another’s hand.

Never mistake my smile for happiness,

I’m swallowing down the pain silence brings.

When I speak I’m hopeful you hear the tremble

That has been fixed in my voice.

When I look at the ground as you pass by

I’m hoping to see you turn your eyes—

Holding my breath so you don’t see me cry.

     DannYetman

www.yetmanpoetry.blogspot.com

I Can Only Imagine

I imagine what it would be like to hold you

And keep you safe while the world falls apart.

I dream of stroking you hair behind your ear

And to tell you that everything will be alright.

Guilt embraces me as I picture you doleful

Just so I can be there to dry your tears.

A single moment holds my anticipation—

To brush your fair cheek and touch your lips.

Alas my simplicity holds my voice,

Inhibition is created deep within my breast.

Late nights are spent lying wakeful,

Wishing I was the one who knew you best.

       DannYetman

www.yetmanpoetry.blogspot.com

Secret Fears

I worry that you will forget about me

While I am still thinking of you—

I am afraid that I won’t be able

To take your breath away

No matter how hard I try.

I’m starting to think it’s true

That dreams aren’t meant to last—

When I attempt to forget you

I’m drawn deeper than before,

I become lost.

Without

The stars tell a story I wish I wrote,

They show me your face, give me hope.

Stars light the path from which I came

And remind me of where you are bound.

Dreams and reality now seem to meet,

My body is shaking with our eyes locked.

I struggle with inhibition, an inner war—

Trying to resist reaching for your hand.

I have trouble breathing when you’re near

And I’m sure you can see fear in my face.

I suppress the urge to tell you how I think,

My mind turns blank as you disappear—

The streets are empty without you,

I’m not sure what to feel without you.

      DannYetman

www.yetmanpoetry.blogspot.com