Seventeen Years
Daniel Yetman June 13 2010
Seventeen Years
Daniel Yetman June 13 2010
The smell of salt water gently mixes with the lingering aroma of ice cream, giving a sensation of timelessness. The sound of waves rolling mixed with the scream of discontented seagulls fighting over French fries serves as a reminder, that yes; it is close to 30°C today. The sun shines down, melting the rocks themselves and flocking hundreds to the beach.
A young child, no more than seven years old, stands next to her mom, pouting over her ice cream that fell from the cone in her hand. The mother, bickers with the teenager working at the canteen, trying to get a refund for her child’s carelessness. He meekly agrees to her demand, afraid of the confutation that may occur if he protests. Avoiding eye contact, he reaches into the strawberry tub of ice cream in front of him and puts another scoop onto the child’s cone. She smiles and giggles in delight.
“Thank you!” She almost yells in excitement.
“You’re welcome…” The employee mutters under his breath.
The girl grabs her mom’s hand and drags her to the boardwalk that leads back to the beach. She whispers silly stories to her mother while trying to step across the same number of cracks in the boardwalk with each stride. Her naturally boisterous behavior comes to an end however when she sees one particularly pathetic looking man lying on the beach. His attire is quite different than most of the beach’s occupants—while most people run around in bathing suits he lies in the sand fully cloaked in a tuxedo.
His tie is undone and strewn across the back of his neck; his shoes are kicked off and half buried in the sand. His silver vest glistens in the sun and so does the area underneath each of his eyes where tears have dried. He is well-groomed for the most part, but there’s sand clinging to the gel in his hair and his dirty-blonde hair has literally become dirty, blond hair. He’s also covered in sweat from having the sun beat down on his face for so long but he doesn’t seem to notice.
The little girl breaks her hold from her mother’s hand and run’s towards the man, almost as if she has to check if he’s real.
“Who are you?” She asks wide-eyed.
He opens his eyes half way and lifts his upper body up using his elbows. Taking a moment to collect his thoughts he responds, “I’m David, who are you?”
“I’m Brianne.” She brags, almost if the name should mean something to him.
Seemingly he ignores her, letting himself fall back into the sand. She continues to stare at him until he opens his eyes again.
“You look pretty.” She giggles as she bends over to pluck the tie that’s lain across the back of his neck.
“Thanks.” He states plainly, slapping her hand away. David puts both his hands over his face in an attempt to block her out.
“Why are you here?” Brianne asks with genuine inquiry.
This time he sits upright, staring her directly in the eyes. He looms over her. “I was left at the altar today by the love of my life. I’ve been in love with her since I was 12 years old; today was suppose to be the best day of my life but instead I’m lying in the sand, letting myself waste away. Part of me hopes I die on this beach because at least then I wouldn’t have to keep thinking about her and all the mistakes I made.”
“Oh, that sucks.” Brianne responds flatly.
“Yeah, it does.” David says with a bitter tone in his voice.
The little girl stares at him again, empathizing with his problem. Before she has time to respond again her mom finally catches up to her and forcefully grabs her hand.
“Come on Brianne.”
She pulls her daughter away from the man, knocking the ice cream cone out of her hand. Brianne looks over her shoulder as David fades farther and farther away.
“I hope you still get married. She says with a smile before being whisked away from him for the last time.
David’s left alone again to revel in his own mind. A look of absolute bitterness is plastered on his face. He kicks sand on the upturned ice cream to take out his anger. Two seagulls circle overhead, waiting for him to leave so they can steal the cone.
Taking his wedding ring out of his pocket, he starts spinning it between his thumbs and forefingers. Every time the ring spins another tear falls.
It’s been seventeen years since the first day David told himself that he loved Sarah. He was twelve years old at the time, not even out of elementary school. One day, out of nowhere he started to develop feelings towards this girl that he hardly knew. He probably had one conversation with her in his entire life but that didn’t seem to matter, he knew who he loved.
Every night he would spend an hour or more thinking about her. He would invent thousands of different scenarios where he would have to save her. In his head they had 1000 first kisses; he told himself that he would never give up.
Unfortunately for David, she didn’t have the same feelings for him as he had for her. Every time David went to tell her how he felt she would shoot him down. He would return home, cry himself to sleep and try to convince himself that it wasn’t worth it. It would take less than 24 hours before he would start sketching out a new plan to win her heart. There was never a week where he wouldn’t get himself into some sort of escapade.
The junior high-school years were tough; every plan failed and while she grew as a person he felt as though he was staying the same. One of the most painful moments of his life was watching her get her first boyfriend. He found out one day when he was walking to class; he saw the two of them holding hands and kissing outside of the classroom. He went home that night and cried himself to sleep for five hours. It was the first time that he realized that no matter what he did she wouldn’t feel for him the way that he feels for her.
The feeling of inferiority that day gave him was enough to drive him to depression. He started to lose weight and he never seemed to be able to smile. There was one positive attribute that he did start to develop though; he started to gain a determination that would later serve him well. He could never be satisfied, no matter what he did there always seemed to be something that needed to be improved.
High school went by slightly better than junior high; David’s feelings towards Sarah seemed to dissipate, at least a little. He kept busy with sports and academics; he learned how to bury his feelings and walk around with a fake smile. Surprisingly, all his hard work did eventually seem to pay off. In David’s grade 11 year he shared a biology class with Sarah and they even became almost-friends.
He must have been a better actor than he thought he was because she completely believed that his feelings for her had stopped.
She would often joke and bring it up, lightly punching him in the arm and saying “Don’t fall in love with me again.” David would laugh softly and pretend it didn’t bother him but in reality it was slowly eating away at him. They would study together most Friday nights until 8:00pm at which point she usually left with one of her ever-changing boyfriends. No matter how close he seemed to get to her she would always end up telling him how in love she was with some guy she just met.
Their study-dates would continue until June of that year but they rarely seen each other over the summer months. She worked full time and he was busy with his own side-projects. They would see each other two or three times a week for maybe two hours at a time. Eventually he reached his boiling point and he had to tell her how he felt about her (again).
He did everything perfectly; he was romantic, charismatic, and chivalrous but it wasn’t enough. He told her, in exact detail, the way she makes him feel, how he has trouble falling asleep at night because his heart pounds almost out of his chest. She wasn’t impressed by his confession, when she left that night he didn’t see her again until school started in the fall. Occasionally they would pass each other in the hallways, she would nod and smile but they never talked anymore. He started to fall back into depression and wildly revamped his elementary antics. He started planning, desperately trying to find something that would, at the very least, get them back on speaking terms. Everything he tried made things worst and eventually time seemed to just run out. The school year finished and David had little to show for it—all he has was a series of failed attempts and two shoeboxes filled with love poems.
The years after high school seemed to go by quickly but monotonously. He and Sarah ended up going to universities that might of well have been on opposite sides of the continent. His feelings eventually did begin to fade and he started to date other people. Nobody seemed to fulfill his expectations, even though he wasn’t thinking about Sarah he still couldn’t completely commit himself to anybody else either. He permanently felt as though something was missing from his life. When relationships didn’t seem to fill the void in his heart he tried leaving his life behind, hoping that it wouldn’t be able to follow him wherever he went. Almost seven years ago from today he graduated from university, filled his car with all his possessions and moved out west, drifting up and down the coast of California.
He got by working odd jobs (he was usually well overqualified for the positions) and used his natural talents and athleticism to earn a couple extra bucks on the side. California eventually lost its initial thrill and he found himself wanderlust back on the east coast. He spent another two years moving up and down the Carolina’s and even spent a couple months in Central Florida. David, at one point, was truly happy with his life. He enjoyed not knowing where his next meal was going to come from, concentrating on his survival kept his mind off being alone.
Nothing lasts forever and time caught up with him; nostalgia set in and he decided to return home. When he arrived, the city that he resented through high-school seemed smaller than it did before. It seemed like such a metropolis while growing up but now it looks like a small town. Of course he had been out of high school for eight years; a lot can change in eight years.
He quickly learned that Sarah had also returned home and that she had taken a job as an elementary school teacher. He got her number from a mutual high-school friend and promptly left her a message telling her that he was back in town. When he called her back a second time she surprisingly seemed happy to hear his voice.
He met her at work the next day and was surprised to see that she looked almost exactly as she did in high-school; if anything she had become even more beautiful. They went out for dinner to catch up on everything that had happened over the past eight years. Sarah told him that she moved back home after she finished her education degree and she bought back her parents old home. She seemed fascinated with David’s adventures across the country and told him that since she moved back, the city seems empty, almost lonely.
The two finally had the type of relationship David had hoped for all along. This time it seemed she felt for him exactly how he had felt for her since they were in the sixth grade. They spent two years together, travelling the country in much the same way David did when he was alone; they moved back to California but they didn’t stay long. They eventually moved east until they ended up in a small town about 20 minutes out of Tampa.
Finally David reached his breaking point again; he had to know he could be with her for the rest of his life. It happened when they were in Disney World; for the last time in his life he went back to his elementary school antics and started planning and scheming. He had one last escapade that he had to pull off. In front of Cinderella’s Castle, while watching the 11:00pm parade and fireworks he dropped onto his left knee and presented the ring he had been carrying in his pocket. With a smile he asked: won’t you make the happiest place on earth the happiest place on earth? Will you finish the fairy tale? It was corny but he didn’t care, there was so much adrenaline pumping through his veins that, to him, it sounded like Shakespeare was speaking.
Sarah quickly smiled and gave David her hand in marriage, their wedding was supposed to be today but there was a slight hitch. The bride was nowhere to be found come time for the ceremony—though in her room a note was found justifying her absence.
When the note was given to David tears immediately began to flow from his eyes.
David I’m sorry, I feel terrible but I know that if I went through with it I would feel even worst and it wouldn’t be fair to either of us. I’m still not sure if this is the right decision but I think it’s best for now. You’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met but I don’t feel like I can commit the rest of my life to you. I’m sorry for leading you on and leaving this to the last minute. Until this morning I thought I was going to go through with it. You have no idea how sorry I am, Sarah.
After reading it, David went back to the hotel room they were staying in and replayed the aforementioned event in his head a hundred times; he started to drive himself insane, thinking of what he could have done differently. Eventually, when the last of his tears dried he walked out of the hotel aimlessly, that is until he saw the beach.
Like a drunkard, he staggered onto the sand, barely able to stand. He dropped to his knees allowing the sand to engulf him and started staring at the sky. He stayed there peacefully until the little girl awoke him from his trance. Now that she’s gone again he can go back to his comatose state. Each cloud reminds him of her; the sound of waves rolling, the screech of the seagulls, the smell of salt in the air, they all remind him of her.
Right now the initial shock has worn off and he is starting to think rationally again. Life is no different than it was three years ago; again, he is on a beach alone wishing for something better.
The two seagulls that have been overhead for the past hour finally become brave enough to grab the cone from beside him; they fight over it and eventually it breaks in half, allowing the two gulls to share it. David picks himself up from the sand and stands up for the first time since he arrived. With a sigh of remorse he begins to walk towards the sea. Staring at the ocean reminds David of how easy it would be to drift away, never to return again.
He walks into the warm water until he is submerged up to the top of his knees. By this point any hope of returning the rented tux has long been dismissed. He looks back at the shoreline and sees the young girl, Brianne, playing in the sand with her mother. Right now she may be the only person in the entire world that would notice if he walked out to sea permanently.
He takes another step forward, testing fate. He takes a second step, completely unaware of the world around him. David is so busy feeling sorry for himself he doesn’t even notice one of the figures on the beach slowly walking towards him.
“Ah don’t tell me you fell in love with me again!” The voice makes David turn around in shock. Standing in the shallows, is a beautiful girl wearing the dirtiest, most mud stained wedding dress that has ever existed. She doesn’t even seem to care that the bottom third of her dress is covered in permanent sand and salt stains.
“S-Sarah?” David stammers unwittingly.
“I thought you might be here, it seemed like the most logical place to start looking.” She smiles.
“Why were you looking for me?” David responds coldly.
“I shouldn’t have left, I made the wrong decision.”
“The wrong decision?”
“I made the wrong decision, I shouldn’t have left. We clearly belong together; I guess I started to panic when I woke up. I was afraid of committing myself to one person for the rest of my life but now that I’m thinking clearly I know that we belong together. It’s you, it’s always been you; I guess you’ve just been able to see it longer than I have.”
David freezes, not knowing what to say. He looks into her grey eyes that are starting to water. He’s speechless.
Sarah looks back at him and smiles; she takes his hand and drops down onto one knee. “David, will you marry me today?” She giggles as she says it.
A rush of memories all appear in David’s head at once. He thinks of the time, in the sixth grade, when she broke his heart when he asked her if she wanted to see a movie with him. He remembers the time she broke his heart in the tenth grade when he asked her to go to the semi-formal with him. He thinks back to this morning, when he found a letter from his fiancé telling him that she doesn’t want to marry him.
He takes her hand and looks deeper into her eyes, thinking back to each night for the past seventeen years. Almost every night he would imagine one day being able to marry her. Seeing Sarah right now reminds him of the way she makes him feel every time he thinks of her. He turns his head behind him and looks to the little girl that told him she hopes he still gets married.
David smiles and Sarah smiles back. He kisses her lips softly, savoring the moment, making it last. When he finally pulls away from her David’s face becomes solemn, he looks past her eyes and utters one word. “Sorry.”
With that he lets go of her hand and begins to walk towards the shore, she doesn’t even chase after him; she stares in awe as the love of her life walks away from her. A faint smile crosses her lips as she watches him go; she waits for him to cross the horizon before she starts walking towards the beach.
When she reaches the beach Brianne runs up to her, similar to how she did to David, and tells her she looks pretty.
Sarah looks down at her dress, back at Brianne and back to her dress again. “Thank you.” She laughs and looks out to sea. She continues to laugh until the sun falls from the sky completely.
“Oh, David.” She says to herself and with that she leaves for the last time.
All rights belong to the original author, as defined under the Canadian Copyright Law.
1 comments:
bravo, this was a superb story I applaud your genius and I miss your visits :)
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